Traveling

     Have you ever thought about traveling the world, seeing different cultures, meeting different people but all you do is staying home and not doing anything to accomplish it?
     I'm exactly in this position. I dream about visiting new places around the world all my life but I haven't done anything to turn it into reality. "I don't have the financial ability to go to some foreign country" is the most often thing I say to myself. That's the truth and I live with it. But on the other side, I believe in the inspirational quote: "If you want it really bad, you'll find a way". And this is the reason why I feel so guilty about it. I can blame only myself for staying home instead of living my dream somewhere else. When thinking about it, I repeat the quote so it can motivate me to really do something. And it works.. for awhile. I start looking for tickets for a
bus/plane, after that for the prices of the hostels and etc. The longer I'm considering what is needed to go, the more unmotivated I become. It looks like that if you don't have any money, it doesn't matter how much you want to go.

     But anyway, I'm an optimist and I don't want to believe in that. I'm sure that one day I will travel to whatever place on earth I want. I'll be at the right place in the right time. This is how it's supposed to be. I believe that life isn't as bad as most people think and one day I'll prove it.

The feeling of missing someone

Have you ever felt like you are really missing someone whom you are most of the time with?

When you are almost the whole time with someone (for example, five days together and two days separated), the day you have to go is nothing special, you know you'll see him/her one or two days later so it's not a big deal. You even enjoy a little time only for you. But when the night comes and you sit at home all by yourself different thoughts come into your mind - some good, others - not so good. And you maybe start wondering if your partner was with you in this moment would you still think about these things..

And most of the times the answer is "no". When you are with your half the world seems  a better place.

But still, there are moments when you feel not so fine no matter with or without him/her. When you are alone and you start over thinking, all you need is a hug from the person who is away from you. And there are times when you are with you partner and things don't go very well and you want to be alone.

Why is this happening? Why being alone and being with him/her is so complicated sometimes. I love my boyfriend and I can’t imagine my future without him. But sometimes I just want to be alone with my thoughts and feelings. I tell him almost everything but there are things which are better for him to not know about.

I end up not saying anything about spending time alone and maybe that’s the best decision because I’m happier when I’m with him. When I stay by myself I think about not so optimistic things and after a  couple of thoughts I need him to calm me down or I will continue overthinking (and even crying). And the awful part is that in my worst moments he isn’t there for me. I can always call him and tell him how I feel. But I don’t want he to know about my “dark” side. And I act like normal.

And lets talk about the not so pessimistic part. Not every time when he isn’t with me I feel depressed. Most of the time I’m doing my things (like listening music, drawing, watching a movie and etc.) and I’m fine with it. Having free time makes me think about all kinds of stuff and one of them is how I want my life to be like and who to be in it. I feel incomplete when he isn’t laying next to me - this is the reason why he is a big part of my life.

           Am I obsessed with this person and I can’t live without him? Or am I used to spend my time with him? Or am I really in love with him? The answer of the first question is “no” because I’m sure that even if something happens and we aren’t a couple anymore I’ll live through it. The second question is hard to answer because when you’re with someone a lot of time partly you get used to him. The answer of the third question is definitely “yes”. I love my boy to the bottom of my bones and no matter what this is the thing I’m most sure of. 

About music

Let’s talk about music. Which are your favorite singers/bands? Do the songs you listen to depend on your mood? Do you listen to different genres or you like just a few? Do your friends listen to the music you like or they like different things?

I like different kinds of music. It all depends on my mood. My most favorite genre is alternative rock but I also like metalcore, dubstep, J-rock, a bit indie, the dance music from the 90s and etc. Each of them is different from the others. But I like them. Sometimes even my friends can’t believe that I listen some of the genres.

You probably have heard the sentence “You can judge people by the music they listen”. It’s not always like that. Sometimes a person can listen to really different things and you can’t say what’s his personality exactly. But I think that listening to different kinds of music is great because that way you can find the needed songs which your mood wants.

Sometimes you feel happy and energetic and you want to dance, other times you have to do some work and you need calm music. Sometimes you want to do headbanging and you need rock or metal music, but other times doing nothing seems the best and relaxing music is for those moments. And much more situations. And there are songs for all of them.

About the people who listen to one or two genres – I know a girl who listens mostly to black and death metal and when people find out that, without knowing her, they start to think that she is dark with evil thoughts and etc., but actually she is a nice person.

My point is no matter what music one person likes, that’s not a thing by which you can define him. So listen to what you like, whatever if are 2 or 20 different genres. The only thing that matters is to be happy.

The art on your skin

Today, so many people have tattoos that sometimes it’s strange if someone doesn’t have any. But why are people so obsessed with them anyway?

Tattoos symbolize something to the person on whose skin is (or at least it supposed to). The tattoo shows the deep connection between one person and a moment from his past, a dream or something like that. It’s amazing how some ink on your skin can help you to go through hard moments, or to inspire you to accomplish your dream, or to remind you of who you are and who you want to be and where you want to go.

But no matter what it symbolizes, do we have to share its meaning to the others or do we have to keep it for ourselves. Maybe it depends on the person and how he thinks and feels about his tattoo(s). Sometimes it’s not a big deal to tell your friends why you did exactly this tattoo… but other times to keep it for yourself seems to be the right thing to do. There are things which don’t need to be known, secrets which don’t need to be told.

Only you can decide if you want to tell the story behind your tattoo or not. But in both cases – tattoos are beautiful and they are a piece of art. Love them, they deserve it.